A New Page

So yada, yada I haven't blogged forever, moving on.

I am sooo not an Oprah fan but for use of a better term, I have had a serious aha moment, that I have to write down so I don't forget it. Recently I had a amazing experience with my son Brody, who is one of the coolest people I know, this kid sets goals and acheives them all the time and I have no idea how is he so great! Well last year he decided he wanted to do the Ragnar Relay Race and I was a little aprehensive,...big race, my little boy, not enough sleep and he loves his sleep. But I said okay, he paid the dues and off we went. We were so lucky to have him on a team that was incredible such great role models for my boy (and little did I know ME!) I just wanted to freeze time and never forget the lessons he was learning. He pushed himself harder and faster and longer and it was amazing and yes I cried.

But in the middle of this experience was the beginning of my aha moment, at the end the second leg for our van, one of the best people I know started her run, she was nervous, and I could tell a little worried and really nothing phazes this girl, so I was a little concerned for her. This run was hard and long and dark and uphill. But she told us to go get some dinner and then come get her and we could go to the place where we would sleep. (such a rockstar) So we did, as we made out way back to her as I was driving up, up, up the hill that she was running, I began to be worried for her and just couldn't imagine how she could be doing this when we finally reached her almost to the checkpoint I might add, I felt this huge sigh of relief seeing her running, with what looked like vigor and enthusiasm. I couldn't believe it! I rolled down the window to ask her how she was and if she needed anything and her reply was NO I'M AWESOME!! said with the most joy and passion I have ever heard. I remember thinking I never want to forget the joy I heard in her voice, she wasn't being boastful or saying she this awesome person, she was absolutely filled with awesomeness!! I loved it,

After pondering that for a few days I started to realize what an impact it was having on me, And I started to ask myself some questions that needed asking. Do I have anything in my life that I do for myself that brings me that much joy? I have joy watching my children succeed and my husband but do I have anything like that, I wanted to be able to feel that.
There are many things I used to love to do, that I have left by the wayside and put others first as I should do being a mom, but the season of tiny ones is gone and why I am still crazy busy running them here and there, the time has come for me to find my passion and my joy.

So after a very long, tearful, amazing discussion with my husband, we decided with some changes to our lifestyle that for now I would quit my job and take care of things that I need to, to find my joy. The list is long but I have such peace in my decision, and even though it is so hard to leave a job I love dearly I know I need to do this for my family, my hubby and for me. I need to look in the mirror and be proud of what I see, and I am so grateful to people who inspire my every day and a husband that truly loves me and supports me. I couldn't ask for anything more. Really long post sorry if you endured it and finally a pic from the race and my boy with pure joy on his face.