Tuesday, December 30, 2008

75 years in Dog years!!

Today is my anniversary, John and I have been married for 12 years today. He is truly the love of my life and I can't believe I have known him almost my whole life, literally we met in star A (4 yrs old). I was talking to my mom recently and told her you know John wasn't what I was looking for but he was exactly what I needed he is my best friend and he always knows me even when I wish he didn't. I love you babe today, tomorrow, yesterday and forever. I thank Heavenly Father for how gentle he is with me, my kids and our little life together. How he is always my biggest fan even when it involves him making sets, cleaning up and pulling me off the floor. For so long I thought is wasn't possible to find love like we have and everyday I thank my lucky stars that you are the brightest star in my sky.

Monday, December 29, 2008

I love Christmas VACA!!

Maybe it is because I am back to work this year but I am trying to stuff as much fun as I can into my two weeks off, I am loving spending time with lots of people I don't get to see very often and some I do and look forward to more fun, plus I am like 4 year old playing with my toys (and others) as much as possible. I love Christmas Vacation and hope you all are having a blast on yours!!!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

One Word Wednesday

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Truly Awesome Tuesday.

You know even with all the yucky stuff that is going on in our world today, there is still so much to be thankful for. I am personally so thankful for my TRULY AWESOME friends, family, faith, and the all the wonderful blessings I recieve daily. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and truly enjoy this most wonderful time of the year. MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!!
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Saturday, December 20, 2008

I am a festerer and a stuffer!

This is one of my really long self indulgent, me trying work something out in my head so feel free to stop reading posts, but as a use this blog for my journal most of the time once in a while these things happen.
It is probably the time of year, that I have been having these feelings, it seems to happen that way every year, but most of the time I am fine but like I said I am a festerer and a stuffer. I tend to over obsess over things but then I decide I am over it (and I really am not) and then I stuff it down only for it to rear its ugly head sooner or later.
John and I were talking last night at a rare alone time and I mentioned in passing that someday soon I would like to buy myself a baby, now that is not as horrible as it sounds it is just my way of dealing with things that are hard for me to say using humor (I do this alot) and he said yeah I actually had a dream about that the other night, to which I was shocked! I didn't know if he ever really thought about it much, it is something that is really so painful for both of us that we rarely bring it up. But we went back and forth about how we would love it, but how it is really nice to be past the diaper, formula, baby proofing, christmas tree is safe stage. I also like to be the go to guy when it comes to babysitting for my family and friends.
But we both miss our little girl we never got to meet. She is still very much part of our family, even though John and I try to keep it at bay we feel her often. She would have been turning four this year and sometimes it still feels like yesterday. I feel her with me often and especially right now when I am kinda going through a spiritual train wreck. I pride myself on being strong and FINE!! (I'm fine how are you?...(NOT)) But it is still very hard and I have to wonder if it will ever get better and I am starting to think it won't. That we just have to move on with the hope and prayers of things to come.
We love our kids so much and know we could have love for more, but we just can't get to the point where we could make a decision about it. I am not in the greatest posistion to recieve "answers" right now. But part of me also knows that I LOVE MY JOB!! and even though I know there are people who are a lot more quailified than I to do it. I see many kids who need love at school too, and maybe I am there for a reason, because I am a softy when it comes to them and they need to smile too. I have had the oppurtunity to see a couple of my students around town and they make my day with their smiles and waves. And if we adopted I would definatly come home to stay with the baby.
All of these feelings seem to overwhelm me this time of year because this would have been Olivas's birthday, and really everyone is pregnant! Please don't get me wrong, I am seriously so happy for all of you Ann, Stacie, Patrice, Shelley and all the recently born babies too. It is just the tinge on your heart strings when you see cute baby clothing at the store and know you will never have a reason to bring it into your home.
I have to remind myself I am seriously so blessed to quote one of my fave blogs, I was told I would never have children and I have been blessed with three fairly easy and very healthy children. And I have a wonderful husband who loves me stuffing and all which is more than I could ever hoped for. I have wonderful friends and an amazing family on both sides. And like I said I love my job! and the people I work with and kids are the best! So I will continue to plug along and keep looking for guidance and try to improve myself spiritually while I try to decide what to do.
I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas Season and please know I am so grateful for all of you.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Flashback Friday


Okay I know this isn't a picture of me, but I am in it literally. I just wanted to post this because I think it is so cute. This is mom when she was preggers with me, and I just have to laugh that her dog has a sweater on, you can really see the Cali girl in her here. She has had a horrible week, and I just want her to know how much I love and appreciate all the sacrifices she has made for me and my brothers. I love you MOM!!
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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

one word wednesday


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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Truly Awesome Tuesday!

So we were told about this house in Uintah, that had their Christmas Lights synced with music and that it was really cool. So we were in the area and found it, It was truly awesome, I don't know how people find time to do this but I am very grateful that they do. It was awesome check it out! Thank you Howells for making our Christmas very bright!!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Merry Christmas

This was our annual christmas talent show with my family, I literally came up with this an hour before we left but I thought it turned out good. Enjoy!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Flashback Friday


Tis the Season' for family parties. I don't even know what year this is but it had to be late eighties, Don't you love the feathered bangs? Merry Christmas all!
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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

One Word Wednesday


Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Truly Awesome Tuesday!

Okay I know this is lame, But 7-11 has Candy Cane Cocoa right now and it is a white chocolate version it is very yummy!!! I would recommend about a 60/40% ratio of regular hot cocoa with the candy cane cocoa in case your interested. Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Flashback Friday!!

This is not one of my proudest moments but funny none the less, 12 years ago Today! John and I got engaged, on my lunch break from a second job I had at the time. I don't know why I thought matching shirts were a good idea for our engagement pics but nonetheless here they are. I love you babe, I would do it all over again but without these shirts.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Christmas Tag

Okay that was too much negativity so I will do this fun Christmas Tag.
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? mostly wrapping paper, but I have been known to cheat and use a bag
2. Real tree or Artificial? artificial
3. When do you put up the tree? usually the day after turkey day because I am not a big shopper any questions read the post below!
4. When do you take the tree down? Usually Day after my anniversary is the 30th and I want to enjoy it.
5. Do you like eggnog? ewww no
6. Favorite gift received as a child? walkman always loved music
7. Hardest person to buy for? John and my mom
8. Easiest person to buy for? my boys
9. Do You have a nativity scene? several I collect them
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? used to mail but I am seriously considering email this year
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? router bit
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? White Christmas
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? when I get to it not a early shopper I get too excited and give them to early
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? yep
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Turkey, toffee, funeral potatoes
16. Lights on the tree? Yes! Hundreds and hundreds of lights
17. Favorite Christmas song? oh too many to just pick one, so this is Christmas, all mine in your lovliness, believe from polar express
18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? uhh yeah I teach kids
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? one on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas morning
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year. Shopping and traffic
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? deep red it changes yearly
24. Favorite Christmas dinner? one I made (i'm picky)
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? something heartfelt
Merry Christmas! Sorry I scrooged out earlier

I hate Shopping!

Okay so let me preface this by saying I really don't love to shop very much, if it could be just be and three other people in the store I wouldn't mind so much, but I am not a people person especially not a lot of peoples person. But I am very specific about the places I go because I know I can get in and out and move on. But there are two stores I must complain about that have been buggin me for awhile. My close buddies have heard this so you can turn out if you want if you haven't already. I am a big lover of Wally World I know it is selling out, but sorry folks their cheap. Recently my little town got a Walmart, I thought it was stupid because as much as I love walmart do we really need like 5 in 5 miles? What are they mormon?
So I really do try to frequent the one in my town you know taxes and all, but seriously every single time I go there, they are always not having something that I know the one up the street has sitting on their shelf, IT DRIVES MY CRAZY!! Last night for instance, my little princess wants a bow and arrown a real one! Thank you camp kiesel! Well my W-mart, had arrows, supplies, targets but no Bows!?!?! The one up the street has like 5 different ones! Besides that they just do not have the selection that the other store has. It just bugs me bad! I know this is a bad example but this is just the most recent one so its on my mind.
My next beef is actually for more stores but the two I will mention is my little town W=mart and Target, Ok over 64% of the population is overweight, and I unfortunatly am part of that party! So why is it that when you go into these stores if you try to find clothes in bigger sizes two things happen, 1st if you are this size you must at least 70 years old and are blind because they have the clothes that require you playing shuffleboard on a cruise ship for! Or Target is famous for this they have like three racks of clothes mixed in with Maternity (I hate this for personal reasons!) And when you look around you are overwhelmed by how much they have of the other size clothes. Seriously go to the Target that is close to us and you will see it. It is truly amazing!! Plus their buyers suck! Now I love Lane Bryant for these kind of clothes but they are a little pricey and then tend to swing into the For your size you should never wear that category, i.e. micro minis and tank tops yikes! Ok I am done venting and for those of you who are like why don't you just lose weight so you can buy these sizes amazingly enough I have thought of that and I am working on it, but in the mean time I gotta wear clothes!! Thank you if you made it to the bottom of this post!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

One Word Wednesday

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Tuesday, December 2, 2008


We usually decorate the tree the day after thanksgiving but I wasn't feeling it this year and I didn't feel good and was taking care of Porter. So tonight everything went up. I got some cute shots, Porter loves to put the star up. Tis the Season!

Truly Awesome Tuesday


TAT was followed by Truly Awesome Monday, this year I promised myself and my kids that we would try to do as much of the holiday stuff as possible starting with yesterday and the SLC lights. It was a blast the kids and I rode Frontrunner down a first for us and met John who was working in SL we had a blast and it was so warm we barely needed jackets. The lights were amazing as always and we even watched a movie on temple square. Don't miss the lights!!
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